Current mood:

depressed

Lack of Happiness
Everyone likes to think that they aren’t alone in the world, but as time passes I’ve come to realize just how alone I am. I rarely have any physical contact with people outside of school hours and I never see anyone who really cares about me. I see my mother about once every 3-4 weeks and only talk to her on the phone about once a week. My father I see about once every 1-2 weeks and never talk to him when he isn’t here, its not that he never calls, but he always just talks to his girlfriend and never me. Plus the person I live with (my dad’s girlfriend) doesn’t really care about me a whole lot (in short she has told me on numerous occasions that she would pick her dog over me). Now that me and Mattie aren’t together I don’t have any sexual contact or someone other then my parents telling me that they love me. Also adding the fact I lack friends, and the friends I do have I never see. I just find I’m alone a lot and that’s making my unhappy and nothing is really canceling it out. I don’t even have something I can use to take my mind off it, no work, no sexual relationships and no real hobbies (minus watching 3 hours of law and order a day). All I want is for someone to tell me face to face that they love me, and hold me. I can’t even remember the last time I was hugged by someone.